I am having a moment of parental despair today. I went to the meeting at Texas Children's today for Caitlin's neuropsychological testing and it just hit me hard. I hate that there are so many things that she struggles with that I can do nothing to fix. I am a woman of action, a fixer, a practical anal retentive control freak and it makes me feel helpless and impotent that I have to just sit by and let what will be...be. I cannot make my child stronger or happier or her life easier just because of my desperate desire to be able to do so.
It is heartbreaking to watch my child struggle with things that come so easily to others and it is even more difficult to see the effect that it has on her. She is so smart and she knows she is different. She knows that she has to work so much harder than other children and she is sad and angry and puzzled. And what answer can you give? I think that she is beautiful and amazing and compassionate and talented but that isn't enough. She has to believe it...and right now she doesn't.
I may feel helpless but I am not hopeless. I have hope in God, hope in the future and hope in my child. I have seen her overcome obstacles that would make lesser men crumble. As a mother, I want her life to be easy and smooth. But I have seen the hardships and struggles refine her character and I am watching her grow into a powerful, observant and kind woman despite the mean, pettiness of the world around her. Jeff and I have faith that she will triumph over her current struggles but we still wish that she didn't have to fight at all.
.JPG)
1 comments:
She is so lucky to have you guys on the sidelines. And people who struggle are in general better people than those who get everything handed to them on a silver platter. She will be a stong and independent woman with very proud parents. No one can ask for more than that.
Love you.
Post a Comment