Suburban Ennui

I went to New Mexico last week to visit a friend and while I was away I finally identified my dissatisfaction. It goes beyond being upset about my botched surgery, the push and pull of raising three children including two with special needs, and a demanding schedule because of Jeff's work and school. This is the view in New Mexico: And this is the view in the suburban wasteland.

They are both pretty. I don't want to live in New Mexico (it has no beach) but driving through the suburbs I realized how false the environment is. I live in a created place with tree lined esplanades and man made lakes. Where the schools have enormous rotundas that go unused and where there are actually signs that say "posting of signs is prohibited". It is ludicrous.

I don't necessarily want to embrace small town life because I realize the downsides to that - everyone knowing your name and business isn't all it is cracked up to be. But I do want to live somewhere real, somewhere pretty that isn't manufactured. Somewhere parents aren't wringing their hands about their kids 6 year freaking plans and where popping open a beer after lunch in the summer while watching the kids isn't met with raised eyebrows.