Watershed Moments

My next door neighbors daughter died yesterday. She was only 16. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that she is gone. We have lived here a long time and I have watched her grow from the little girl Hannah's age jumping on the trampoline and practicing her cheerleading moves in the front yard to the more poised teenager with a cell phone attached to her hand at all times.

Everyone has watershed moments that define their lives into "before X" and "after X". For me having Caitlin was my watershed moment. The experience of her birth and long term hospitalization fundamentally changed me and I was never again to be the person I was before she was born. But my moment that fundamentally changed my perspective and life had a happy ending - Caitlin lived.

Losing a child in a horrific accident would have to be a watershed moment for a parent. I can't even imagine the grief of my neighbor - I don't want to because it makes me too sad. Irrevocably her life is now separated into Before Taylor died and After. And it is so unfair - unfair that such a young, beautiful girl has been snatched away in the prime of her life, unfair that her brother has lost his big sister, unfair that her mother is enduring the soul wrenching grief that has no name and no bottom.

I tell my children that life is unfair all the time. To palliate their disappointment usually but even if trite and contrived - it is true. Life is hard and harsh and often terribly unfair. And because of that we must value each moment - each joy no matter how small, to feel and live and be grateful for each breath we are given.